Thinking...

I think a lot. I worry. I dream. I imagine perfect little scenarios for the next day, good or bad. They don't usually come true. But I think. Lately, I've been thinking about life. I'm a 9th grader, so this is when my life starts. This is when colleges look at you closely, looking for any little flaw they can find.
Anyway, I'm not a little kid anymore. It really hurts to grow up. I would actually give anything right now to be in that little kid age, where everything was just innocence and fun. So now as I try to go to sleep tonight, I think of all the things I'm never going to have anymore... The magic of Christmas... the imagination... the ability to believe in fairytales, in happily ever after. Sometimes it sucks growing up really.
But now I have to start realizing what I want. Like, I am not even kidding, you could go around to any kid in my grade right now and they'd know exactly what they wanted. Doctor. Lawyer. The Military. Is it sad I don't know?
Maybe not knowing is better, though. Maybe it's better to dream and just still be a kid, believe in that happily ever after. What we really should be worried about is if we just had a good time while we were here, and lived in the moment. Because although all this worrying and all the troubles we have now are hard, they are actually pretty petty in the long run. But it's life. And if it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be so beautiful.