strong

Currently my English class is reading Of Mice and Men. No, I'm not going to complain about how hard it is, like the rest of my class, because it's not a hard book. You would have to be dumber than a box of raisins to not understand the themes in the book- loneliness, euthanasia, hopes and dreams and societal isolation. (Which, sadly, some people in my class are.) What I can't stand about the book is the message of it.

Now the loneliness and hopes and dreams are good themes on Steinbeck's part. The main characters, George and Lennie are trying to find the American Dream, they want to live on a ranch and pretty much just make a life for themselves, and many characters, like the stablebuck, Crooks, are lonely throughout the novel. I'm also sort of okay with the euthanasia, or mercy killing parts of the book, where Candy, the old man, has one of the other men kill his old dog because it can't work properly. (and I won't mention the other killing in the book, just in case some of you haven't read it).

The only theme I have a complete problem with is the societal isolation one. Lennie is mentally disabled, and Steinbeck (although I don't blame him for telling the truth in this novel, it is still a harsh way to portray how people were back then) has pretty much every character, even his only friend, George, make fun of his disability. There are also racial things like the stablebuck, being looked over just for the color of his skin. But even I can handle a little racism in books, because that's just how people acted back then. What really gets me is the way Steinbeck portrays women in the novel. The only woman that has even the slightest speaking role in the book is a woman who is in the simplest terms, a whore and sleeps around the ranch even though she is married. All the men stay away from her and act like she has a disease. Steinbeck is pretty much saying that all women are like this and it perturbs me. Ugh.

Women are strong, independent people, and can easily do anything a man can do. Welcome to the 21st Century, men! And no, I will not make you a sandwich. 

fortune cookies and smiles

mmm. that title sounds all yummy. :)

hahaha.

well normally i'm not one to believe in little superstitious stuff, like fortune cookies and zodiac signs and things like that. tomorrow's my birthday, so for my birthday dinner, my mom got me Chinese. when I went into the store and tried to pick up my food, the lady told me to wait and handed me a fortune cookie that said 'never quit'. so you may all be like oh what a freak, believing fortune cookies. but sometimes you need something to believe in.

so today I had band practice after school. and let me tell you, today was awful. i got a bad grade on a test, my one friend was mad at me, i had a headache all day, NONE of the saxophones were listening. -_- so i was pretty cranky. that was, until a girl came up to me. she was one of the dancers, we call them dance drill, but most people call them color guard. i had never talked to her before, she was one of the 7th graders. and she came up to me and poked me and i snapped, 'WHAT?!'. and you know what she said? 'I just wanted to tell you that you look really pretty today.' and she smiled at me. and walked away. that just happened to really make my day.

the moral of this long post is: i'm taking these moments today as signs. to always find the better in things, and to always help someone when they are down.

so i'm starting on this entry.
anyone reading this who thinks they aren't beautiful, you are. it's just the haters who are ugly. 





proof of my fortune cookie luck. :) sorry for the bad quality, it was taken with a crappy ipod. :/

Thinking...

I think a lot. I worry. I dream. I imagine perfect little scenarios for the next day, good or bad. They don't usually come true. But I think. Lately, I've been thinking about life. I'm a 9th grader, so this is when my life starts. This is when colleges look at you closely, looking for any little flaw they can find.
Anyway, I'm not a little kid anymore. It really hurts to grow up. I would actually give anything right now to be in that little kid age, where everything was just innocence and fun. So now as I try to go to sleep tonight, I think of all the things I'm never going to have anymore... The magic of Christmas... the imagination... the ability to believe in fairytales, in happily ever after. Sometimes it sucks growing up really.
But now I have to start realizing what I want. Like, I am not even kidding, you could go around to any kid in my grade right now and they'd know exactly what they wanted. Doctor. Lawyer. The Military. Is it sad I don't know?
Maybe not knowing is better, though. Maybe it's better to dream and just still be a kid, believe in that happily ever after. What we really should be worried about is if we just had a good time while we were here, and lived in the moment. Because although all this worrying and all the troubles we have now are hard, they are actually pretty petty in the long run. But it's life. And if it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be so beautiful.