bad flirting fate

I don't know if it's fate that leads us to do things. Maybe I was destined to be one of those band geeks. Maybe being a little shy was just written in the stars for me. So why does it seem like everytime I try to lead something in my favor, it turns sour? Was I destined to be a turn off when talking to guys? I don't think God is THAT cruel. I guess this whole post is about my 'ew why is that potato talking to me' effect I have on guys when I try to flirt. It figures that out of every guy that I possibly know, the only one that wants to flirt is the one I don't want to flirt with! I think my guy friends just look at me as that girl who they will love but never LOVE love. That girl that's kinda funny, but is treated as 'one of the guys'. That girl that's kinda pretty... But have you seen *****?! I'm just kind of stuck in this little in between place, and I have no idea how to escape. I'm stuck in the cage of my bad flirting fate.

unfortunate events

Today's post is about unfortunate events. You know like those times where you get that awful gut feeling because you know you said something wrong? Ah, yes.. For example once at a church camp I made a joke with the word 'bitch' in it. Long story short, I never really went there again. And not only do these awful things haunt us, but they all seem to come up at night when all anyone wants to do is sleep. Which is actually kind of why I am writing this as my eyes slowly close in exhaustion and another memory pops up. Lord help me.

the perfect pair

I'm so confused.

I don't know what to do.

I can't think of anything

But you.

Your hugs, 

Your smile,

Those beautiful eyes,

Somedays I think I'm losing my mind.

You make me feel breathless,

You make me feel sick,

With everything you do,

Ever so perfect

But why would I matter?

Why would you care?

I'm merely a little girl

It's really not fair.

I just want to be special

I want to be yours

But that's just fantasy

You're too mature

But you'll be in my dreams

And forever there,

I'll be in your arms,

The perfect pair.